I have now been in this arranged marriage market of my community for quite sometime and found that it is extremely difficult to take this risky decision especially in my community.
Now that I am currently based out of Mumbai, my parents are looking for bride from Mumbai. While it may be true that I like Mumbai, I do not like it anymore than the growing and enterprising Sangli. I may or may not continue to stay in Mumbai for the rest of my life. But its wierd that girls (whom I met) insist that they want to be settled in Mumbai -reason being that Mumbai is a place they have been brought up and that Mumbai is a land of opportunities and blah blah.. I might even consider thinking about this demand if the girl has a decent enough job and is planning a career in the corporate world. But for a girl with not too many ambitions of a corporate career, such a demand is not justified - especially when the reason they give is that they do not want to be away from their parents. Even I stay away from my parents and my house back home. I will try to be settled in Mumbai / Pune but it is not a given. Putting such a condition for marriage is way too much.
One more condition I saw which the girls' parents put forth is that the boy with whon their 'princess' will marry should own a house of his own in Mumbai/Pune. This is just too much. How can anyone expect a young boy who has just started his career to own a house in Mumbai? Why should the boy own a house? Can't their 'princess' stay in a rented house? Kahin raaste mein toh nahi rakhne wala mai usko. Why do they want the boy to take up a huge debt or money from his parents? One side they want the boy to be independent with a job and on the other hand they want him to be too much dependent on his parents for buying a house.
One more thing I found wierd was that it is the oy who has to visit the girls' place. (May be this is the system only in my subcaste). Also, when the boy goes to visit the girls' place, she appears in the living room for a very short duration only to serve some coffee or snacks (almost always not prepared by her). The boys parents get to only see her for a while - no conversation with her possible in that short span. The onus of judging the girl entirely falls on the boy when he is allowed to spend some time with the girl alone. So, the whole purpose of taking parents along for judging the girl is defeated.
I intend to change some of these things if not all when I go for the exercise next time.
Should have chosen one amongst the 100 odd girls at my B-school :P
Anyone reading this is advised to strictly go for a love marriage.
